


Ne Pars Pas S'il Te Plait (Please don't go)

by morganq



Category: Supernatural
Genre: !cancer trigger warning!, A Lot of Death, Alternate Universe, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Roommates, Castiel's life is a train wreck, Dean is a jackass, Death, Emotional Abuse, Highschool AU, John's A+ Parenting, Kid Sam Winchester, Miscommunication, Multi, happy ending... and then not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-10 10:58:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7842229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morganq/pseuds/morganq
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has been kicked out of every school his parents have put him in. The next one his parents send him to was Lawrence Academy: school for boys. A boarding school. Typical. There he meets a strange boy that gives him strange feelings. All Dean knows is that all he needs to do is get through senior year, and it will be over. Another thing Dean knows: He's Straight. Right?</p><p>Almost everyone Castiel has allowed himself to love has died one way or another. His life is simply a cycle of loss and hurt. Yet, he can't help but love again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. chapitre un

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, Morgan here! I apologize for any spelling and/or grammar errors. Enjoy!

Dean’s pov

Boarding school was just another adventure for Dean. He always managed to get being kicked out of every public school his parents put him in.

His parents decided to send him to a boarding school, for it had been the last school in the Lawrence area they hadn’t tried. Although, Dean wondered if it even counted as being in the Lawrence area, seeing as int as a half-hour drive out of town.

And so, Dean pulled up in front of the gigantic school by himself. Both his parents were both working and Sammy, his kid brother, was at school already, middle school started sooner than high school in Lawrence. 

Dean found himself a parking space, got out his suitcase, and punched through the grand wooden doors of Lawrence academy: School for boys. He strode to the front desk where a middle aged woman with graying hair sat, clicking away on her computer. 

“Name and grade please.” She said this without even looking at him, which made Dean wonder how many times she's had to do this today.

“Dean Winchester, twelve grade. Senior year.” She started clacking down on the keyboard after he said that, saying, 

“ I know what year the twelve is, Mr. Winchester.” He rolled his eyes, hoping she wouldn’t notice. He decided that he doesn't want to ever be on her bad side. She gave a little huff and handed him a piece of paper and a key.

 

“You'll be in room 210 in the west wing. Do I need to walk you there?” She gave him an annoyed look, as if saying please say no.

“No. Thank you-” Dean have a quick glacé to the name plaque on the marble counter.

“- Ms. Philips.” Dean turned in his heel and started off down the hall to his right. He glanced at the price of paper he was given. It was a map of the school grounds. The building he was in now was the dorms. 

To the buildings right was the school and to its left was the football field. Behind it was the rec area. Dean guessed that was where people would hang out on break. 

 

Dean was so intently studying his map that he didn't even noticed the person turning the corner ahead. He did notice when he ran right into the person, landing him and his victim on the rough forestry green carpet if the hall. 

“Fuck. Watch where you're going.” Dean sat up with a huff the person he ran into was already standing up.

“No, newbie, you watch where you're going.” The boy was a bit taller than Dean, only a bit. He had a muscular build and small piggy eyes.

Dean was not in the mood for people like him. He turned back and continued walking down the hall until he got to a flight of spiral staircases where a few boys were making their way up and down. 

 

Dean looked down beyond the railing and saw that it went down another floor. He looked back at his map. He didn't remember seeing this.

Sure enough to on the side of his map it read,” basement floor of the dorms are the rec room and laundry room.” Ah. Dean sighed and started up the stairs, suitcase in tow. After two flights and a couple steps across a basic, beige painted hall, Dean arrived at his room. 

 

210.

 

He put his key in its hole and turned it, only to find that the door was already unlocked. He open the door and peeked inside. The room was lit by sunlight, streaming out of large window, overlooking the parking lot. 

 

The rest of the room followed the halls decor. Green carpet, beige walls, wooden furniture. Cozy enough. Dean walked inside and was greeted with a unfamiliar boy's voice.

 

“Hello.” Dean looked at his roommate and waved. He had dark, wind blown hair and a lanky, but muscular physique.

 

“I'm Castiel Novak.” His voice was deep and soothing. Dean set his suitcase on a bed that mirrored Castiels, the one that he was sitting on. 

 

“I'm Dean. Nice to meet you.” Castiel stared at Dean intently, and Dean couldn't figure out if Cas was sizing him up or waiting for him to keep the conversation going. 

 

Dean decided to ignore his new roommate and start on his unpacking. He made his way, with his suitcase, to the back of the dorm where a large dresser could be spotted. It was wooden and a bit worn but it would work for Dean. 

 

Dean caught a quick glance at Castiel as he turned to open his suitcase. The boy was still sitting on his bed, except, now he had a book in his hands, and was gazing down at it attentively. 

 

Dean continued filling his drawers, until he got to the last one. He opened it up to find a large spider sitting inside. 

“Shit.” Dean scrambled to rip off his shoe, and once he did, he made haste in smushing the spider. Dean hated spiders with a passion. Dean walk back to his bedside table, to get a tissue from the tissue box resting there.

 

“What was that?” Castiels deep voice rung through dean's ears and it took Dean a few seconds until he answered.

“Just a spider.”, Dean said as he wiped up the guts with his tissue. Dean had been putting in his last folded up t-shirt in the drawer when he heard Castiel again. 

“It's about time for dinner. It's important that were on time.” Dean shut his drawers and looked at his roommate. Castiel tapped his watch and smiled at Dean. It was a calm and welcoming gesture. 

“Okay.” Dean slipped on his shoes and held open the door for Castiel. I'm such a gentleman, Dean thought to himself. He locked the door behind them and followed Cas to the dining hall. 

 

It was loud and there were many tables set about with boys at almost every one of them. He continued following Castiel and sat next to him at a table with three current residents. 

 

Dean looked to Castiel before he sat as if asking, can I sit here? Cas nodded and looked to the people across from them. 

“Hey Cas! I missed you, buddy!”, one of the boys exclaimed excitedly. He had light hair and dullish grey eyes. He reached up and lightly punched Castiel's shoulder. 

 

Dean watched as Castiel greeted the rest of his friends. The way that his lips stretched over his teeth when he grinned made Dean happy, and Dean didn't know why.

 

“ And this is Dean, my roommate.” His name being said brought Dean out of his haze.

 

“Hi.” The boy who punched Cas was the first to talk.

 

“I'm Cole. This Benny-” Cole pouted to the boy at his right, “ and this is Garth.” 

 

Benny and Garth waved at Dean and he smiled back at them. Then, as if Dean had been their friend for a long time, they dive righting into friend conversation. 

 

“So, Cas, Did you get any this summer?”, Cole asked with a smirk. Castiel looked down and his cheeks grew pink.

 

“Holy shit.” Benny muttered. 

 

“You did!” Benny and Garth started to chuckle but Cole managed to keep the giggles down.

 

“Who's the lucky boy?” Boy. Castiel was gay. Dean blinked at the realization. He didn't have any problem with it. Hell, his best friend Charlie was gay. It didn't bother Dean. At all. After what seemed like a long time, Castiel spoke up.

 

“It was at that camp my brother keeps sending me to every summer. It was…” His cheeks grew a shade darker. 

 

“Good.” 

 

And Cole broke at that. All three boys chuckled about, and Dean noticed a small smile grow on Castiel's face. Dean was tempted to laugh himself. Cole spoke up again.

“Oh, by the way, Dean, Cas is gay.”

Dean chuckled and he felt Castiel’s eyes on him, waiting to see how Dean would react. 

“Don’t worry, you won’t catch me being a homophobe.” Dean could almost smell the relief on Castiel. 

 

“I was so sure you'd die a virgin, Cas.”, Garth said and stopped chuckling and the others followed.

 

“Enough about me, what about you guys? Was your summer exciting at all?” Castiel was desperate to change the subject. Dean saw that Benny was about to say something when annoying ringing came from the front of the room. 

 

Mostly everyone in the dining hall turned their head to see what made the noise. It was one of the teachers tapping their fork to their glass.

 

“ Hello and welcome, students.” Dean assumed this was the principal. He went on to talk about expectations, classes, and other things that Dean didn't care about. 

 

He was too preoccupied with a new discovery he'd found. Castiel's eyes. He never noticed it before but they were unlike anything he's ever seen. They were this mesmerising vibrant blue. Dean was lost in them. 

 

They created a warm sort of feeling in his stomach, and Dean wasn't sure why. He snapped out only when his table was excused to get dinner. 

 

The night went on and Dean discovered that Garth had been in Australia all summer and had multi- layer tan lines on his back. Benny finished the entirety of pretty little liars, in which Cole teased him for being girly, and Cole apparently did ‘nothing’ all summer. 

 

They didn't ask Dean about anything, which Dean was a bit grateful for because he didn't want to have to explain why he'd gotten kicked out of his latest school. 

 

He didn't feel like talking about it yet. Sooner than later, did the staff inform the remaining students it was 15 minutes until lights out, and we should all get to our dorms. Cas and Dean walked back to their room in silence.

 

It wasn't awkward, just silent. Dean gathered up his toothbrush and toothpaste and made his way to the bathrooms. Once he was done, he went back to his dorm, and Cas wasn't there yet. 

 

Dean quickly changed into some sweatpants and a t-shirt. He climbed into his bed as Cas entered the room. He turned off the lights as he came in and climbed into his own bed.

 

“Goodnight, Dean.” Dean smiled at Castiel's deep, soothing voice.

 

“Goodnight Cas.”

 

Dean fell asleep thinking of Castiel's eyes and how it made him feel. He was so confused. He'd only felt that way once and it was with his ex girlfriend. Dean was straight. Or at least he thinks he is.


	2. chapitre deux

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so I'm not sure how many chapters this will have, but I know that there will be quite a few. I plan on this to be at least semi-long. Enjoy!

Castiel’s pov

Castiel looked up to his ceiling, where plastic glow-in-the-dark stars were strung. He breathes in the smell of his house. It’s comforting. It smells like lavender and honey and family and love and… smoke? Smoke everywhere. Shouts. Sirens. Screaming. 

“Cas!” 

Castiel is wakes to Dean shaking him. Castiel takes multiple deep breathes in attempts to compose himself. 

“You were crying and thrashing around in your sleep.” Castiel shut his eyes, forcing the tears away. He felt his mattress dip, and felt Dean sit in the bed with him. He felt him rub circles into his back with his thumb. It was comforting.

“It’s okay. I’m okay. It was just a nightmare.” He opened his eyes and pulled his grey comforter closer around himself. He kept his eyes down. Castiel felt embarrassment twist his gut. Dean must think he’s annoying. Dean probably doesn’t want Castiel as his roommate anymore. Good going, Cas. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Dean asked. Cas shook his head. 

“I don’t usually do this.” Lies. Castiel hadn’t remembered to take his pills. Dean got up and crawled back into his bed, his bare feet padding against the green carpet. Castiel waited until he heard Dean’s breathing slow, indicating that the boy was asleep. 

 

Castiel got out of his bed and made haste to his dresser. He opened the top drawer and pulled out his bottle of sleeping pills. They rattled slightly as he unscrewed the cap. Never, will I ever forget to take these again, Castiel tells himself as he takes his dose.

 

He knows that he’ll probably forget again. Castiel sleeps through the rest of the night without a peep. 

 

Dean’s pov

Dean woke to the incessant beeping of his alarm. Dean groaned and rubbed his eyes hastily. He yawned as he pushed the button on his small, black alarm clock. 

 

He remembered when he got it for christmas. He remembers the laughing coming from his brother as he ripped away the green and red wrapping paper. 

 

Dean regarded the memory fondly. Dean huffed and threw up his covers, standing up from his bed. 

 

He noticed that His roommate, his friend, Castiel was nowhere to be seen. He must have gotten up before Dean. Dean shrugged it off and made his way to his dresser.

 

He pulled out his uniform. Boarding school meant that he and everyone else who went there, would have to wear uniforms. Dean didn’t fully understand why, but he would not question it. 

 

He was determined not to get kicked out of this one. It wasn’t even really his fault he got kicked out his last one. The douche he beat up was asking for it.

 

As he fumbled with his, honestly ugly, green striped tie, he thought back to last night and to the nightmare that Castiel had. 

 

God it must have been horrible, the way that Cas had been thrashing around and crying. And he must be embarrassed. He only just met Dean.

 

Dean wondered what the dream had been about. It must have been bad. Dean continued to struggle with his tie. He was never really that good at tying ties. It took him another fifteen minutes to figure it out. 

 

When it looked semi-normal, Dean grabbed his bookbag and schedule and walked out of his dorm, locking the door behind him. Dean studied his schedule was he went down the stairs. 

 

After breakfast, at 8:15, is his first class, History. Then chemistry, then language arts, calculus, then lunch/break. Then P.E. and lastly, French. Dean soon ended up in the cafeteria.

 

It was bustling with students. White walls and white tables. It reminded Dean of the cafeteria at the hospital in Lawrence. 

 

Dean grabbed an apple for breakfast and looked around, hoping to find Castiel. He soon spotted his blue-eyed friend with his friends at the same table from last night. 

“Hello, Dean.”, Castiel said as Dean sat down next to him. The rest of the boys greeted Dean and quickly dove back into their conversation. 

 

As it turns out, Dean had a lot of classes with Castiel. The only ones he didn’t have with Cas was P.E. and calculus. The day went on, uneventful, however, Dean was relieved when lunch came along. 

 

He waited in the lunch line with Cas, and Dean told him all about back home. Of course he left out some parts. He admired the way Castiel listened. 

 

He kept his gaze on Dean, staring attentively. Sometimes it was hard for dean to remember what he was going to say because of those fucking eyes. 

 

They were such a deep, mesmerising shade of blue. But Dean kept talking, trying his hardest not to get lost in them. Soon enough, Dean’s train of thought was gone and he found himself just staring into Castiel’s eyes. Neither of them talked. 

“Boys!” The lunch lady’s hoarse voice snapped Dean out of his trance. The two boys ate their food in silence, listening to cole rant about his annoying calculus teacher.

 

Soon, a bell sounded, initiating the end of lunch. And so Castiel and Dean parted ways, Dean heading to P.E. and Cas heading to… whatever class he had next. P.E and calculus were pretty boring as most of deans classes went.

 

As Dean made his way to french, his last class of the day, another boy ran straight into him. Dean's books spilled out of his book bag and Dean fell on his butt.

 

He groaned as he looked up to see who had run into him. It was the same pig-eyed boy that Dean had run into yesterday.

“Fuck.”, Dean muttered. Castiel appeared next to Dean, helping him with his books. 

“Just can’t stay out of my way, can you?”, the boy yelled, angrily, his voice hoarse. He stood up and Dean got some serious fight vibes. Dean snorted. I could totally take this guy, Dean thought to himself.

“I think it’s the other way around, asshat.”, Dean got up and faced the larger boy. By this time, other students had gathered, obviously waiting for a fight. 

 

Dean felt a tugging at his pant legs. He looked down to Cas, who gave Dean an exasperated, yet worried look. Dean rolled his eyes at Cas and turned back to his new friend, only to be met with a sloppy punch to the face.

 

There were some gasps from the crowd, but Dean quickly gathered his senses and lurched forward. He tackled the other boy to the ground and started to throw punches aimlessly.

 

The fight didn’t last long, for Dean was thrown off of the boy by a teacher and both were taken to the principal's office immediately.The principal was a short and surprisingly young man. His name was Mr. Edlund and he was younger than any principal Dean had had in the past. Dean and the other boy were sat in uncomfortable plastic chairs. 

“Zachariah, this is the second time you’ve been sent to my office. You’ve literally been here for a day and a half. I don’t play that shit, Zach.” Dean chuckled at the Principal's use of swear words. Zachariah’s eyebrows shot up. 

“Uh, I mean that you, um, can’t keep doing this.” Mr. Edlund stuttered trying to cover up his profanity. He was obviously new to the job. 

“One more trip up, and you are suspended, Zachariah. And, You, What’s your name?” He pointed to Dean. 

“I’m Dean Winchester.” Mr. Edlund sat in his office chair and started typing into his computer. 

“You can get off with a warning, but this is going on your permanent record. You two are dismissed.” Dean and Zach got up and made for the door. Before they both left, Mr. Edlund spoke once more. 

“Oh, and boys, please try not to get in fights anymore.” Dean nodded and made for the french classroom, hoping that it wasn’t already over. 

 

By the time he made it to the door, the bell rang and students were already coming out the door. Castiel was one of them. He smiled when he saw Dean. 

 

Castiel made haste in getting to his friend. He handed Dean his book bag that he had left behind before. 

“Thanks.” Dean took the bag from Cas and slung it over his shoulder. 

“What was that, Dean!?” Castiel spoke with anger laced in his voice. The both started making their way to the dorm as they talked. 

“I don’t know. But that son of a bitch wasn’t going to get away with punching me, that's for sure.” Cas shook his head and sighed.

“I know Zach. He… you don’t want to pick a fight with him.” Dean snorted.

“No, Cas. He doesn’t want to pick a fight with me.” They started up the stairs and Cas almost tripped, but caught himself before he could fall. As Castiel hoped, Dean didn’t notice. 

“Dean…”

“Guess how I got kicked out of my last school, cas.” Castiel pondered this. Had Dean just gotten into a huge fight?

“You got into a fight with someone, didn’t you?” Castiel saw Dean take on a toothy grin.

“Sent that fucker to the hospital.”, Dean declared proudly. Castiel almost flinched. He didn’t approved of violence. His mother always taught him that there was a different way to do things. 

 

‘There is always another way’, she would always tell him and his siblings. But that was before the accident. Oh god, the accident. No, Cas. Don’t think about it, Castiel told himself.

 

Catsiel was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the creaking of his dorm's door opening. The two boys walked inside. Castiel put away his book bag and turned to dean. 

“I’m going to go and hang out with Cole and all them until dinner, would you like to join me?” Dean nodded and put away his book bag as well. 

 

He followed Castiel to Dorm 223, not to far from their own. They walked into to see Garth and Benny and Cole sitting on the beds, chatting. 

“Hey, Cas. Hey, Dean.” Garth told them. 

“Welcome to my humble abode.” Castiel smiled at him and Dean waved. No sooner than when Dean sat down did Cole start to yell. 

“I’m so fucking fucked up. I hate the new chem teacher. He always fucking calls on me for fucking everything. Fuuuuuuuuck.” Castiel laughed, making Dean smile. 

“Watch your profanity.”, Garth peeped. And so Cole proceeded to recite every curse word he could recall, purely in spite of Garth. 

 

Castiel laughed his ass off the whole time. His laugh was an octave higher than his regular voice and it was incredibly contagious.

 

Soon enough everybody was laughing, even Benny, who, as far as Dean knew, didn’t speak up that much. Dinner was nice and afterwards Castiel and his friends were planning to go out to out to the courtyard. 

“Are you coming, Dean?”, Castiel asked him. Dean nodded. 

“Yeah I’ll be out in a second. I’m going to go hit up the bathrooms real quick.” Cas nodded and turned back to his friends and Dean walked in the direction of the wash room. 

 

On his way there, Dean was stopped by none other than Zach and few of his friends. Dean rolled his eyes and sighed. 

“So, Dean.”, Zach emphasised his name almost sarcastically. Dean couldn’t figure out why Zach would say it like that. It was his real name. 

“I know we, uh, got off to a bad start.” Dean snorted. No shit. Dean didn’t want to listen to this guy. He could just push past them, but he didn’t want another fight. He didn’t want to get kicked out again. 

“I watched you today in P.E. today.” Creepy.

“And I think you should be on the team. You should talk to coach.” Dean started to walk around them as he answered. 

“Maybe.” Dean actually considered it. He had played for his old school's team. He would talk to the coach tomorrow. 

The rest of the night went alright and by the time Dean hit his pillow he was asleep, his first day of school exhausting him. Castiel remembered to take his pills and didn’t have nightmares. 

All was well.


	3. Chapitre Trois

Dean woke with a start. Beep, beep, beep, beep! He turned off his alarm and sat up, Rubbing his eyes. The first thing they focused on was Castiel. His face was peaceful, his features set at ease. Dean shook his head. How could someone be so damn beautiful? Wait, what am I talking about?! Dean shook away his silly little feelings and focused on getting ready. He was buttoning up his shirt when Castiel started to rouse. Dean couldn’t find his tie for the life of him. 

“Hey Cas, can I borrow one of your spare ties? I can’t find mine.” Dean took the pillow muffled groan as a yes and opened Castiels bottom drawer. Dean was definetly not prepared for what he found. Inside the drawer was a chirping little chick. A fucking baby chicken was living in Castiel’s bottom drawer. There was even a small heating lamp taped to the side of the drawer. 

“Uh, Cas, there’s a fucking baby chicken in your drawer. What the fuck is this?” Dean looked back to Castiel, who sat up abruptly. His covers slipped off of him, exposing his chest and torso. Dean felt his heart rate quicken. 

“His name is Norman. I found him on the side of the road on the way here. And so I kept him.” Castiel got up out of his bed and approached Dean. Castiel picked The chick up and held it close his bare chest. Dean held his breath. This boy was too much. 

“How do you even feed him?” Dean asked, trying to focus on something other than Castiel’s abs. 

“I sneak him granola from the cafeteria. I’m not quite sure if that’s what I’m supposed to feed chickens, but he eats it, so…” Dean smiled at Castiel’s compassion. He is breaking the rules, just to help this unimportant, insignificant chicken stay alive. Castiel looked up into Dean’s eyes. 

“Please don’t tell anyone.” With Castiel’s big, mesmerising blue eyes pleading Dean, there was no way that dean could say no, even if he wanted to. Dean chuckled.

“Your secrets safe with me.” Castiel smiled and set the small chick back in the drawer and closed it. Cas opened a different one and gave Dean a tie. 

“I’ll be in the wash room of you need me.”, Cas told dean as he took a towel, and his uniform, and toiletry bag and left. Dean took another twenty minutes to put his tie on, struggling as he did the morning before. 

Dean soon caught up with Cas and together they walked to breakfast. As usual, Cole was ranting, loudly. Dean had a lot of trouble paying attention to him, though, because Castiel’s eyes. Again, as usual. 

Jesus, I need to stop, Dean thought to himself. The rest of the day went by faster than yesterday, but still just as boring. All up until Dean second passing period, anyway. 

“Winchester, get over here.”, Coach yelled to Dean. Everyone at school, even the other teachers called the P.E. teacher Coach, and Dean honestly had no idea what his actual name was. 

“Yes, Coach?” Dean answered as he jogged toward him. 

“After lunch, come to my office. I’d like to talk to you about joining the football team. I’ve seen you these past few days and, well, we’ll talk about it more later.” Dean Smiled and nodded. Soon enough, it was lunch.

Dean plopped down in his usual seat. 

“So, football season is about to start.”, Cole said in mock excitement. Garth and Benny chuckled, and Cas would, but his mouth was full of peach slices. Dean stared as Castiel shovel more and more into his mouth. 

“They’re his favorite.”, Garth chuckled. No shit, Dean thought. He shook his head.

“Speaking of football season,” Dean spoke up, making conversation. 

“I think Coach wants me to join the football team. He told me to meet him in his office after lunch.” Dean noticed the humorless smiles that spread throughout the group. Even Cas, whose face was still stuffed with peaches, grimaced. Dean tilted his head.

“You sure, Brother?” Benny asked. That was the first time Dean had heard Benny speak. Garth spoke next. 

“It’s just Zach is team captain, and-” Cole interrupted him loudly after hurriedly swallowing his pizza. 

“Zachs a douche and so is everyone else on the team. Fucking dicks.” Dean knew that Zach would be annoying, but Dean kinda wanted to play football. He liked it. He played for his old school's team. 

“Yeah I know but, hey, maybe I’ll whip him into shape.” Dean have one of his signature smiles. He would do it and Zach wouldn’t get in his way. Cole and everyone chuckled.

“You do that, okay?” Cole practically dared. Dean’s eyebrows knitted together and he shot him a playful smile.

“I will.”, Dean said as he got up. 

“I’m going to his office now. See you, losers.” Dean made haste in getting to Coaches office. He could practically hear Cole’s laughter from down the hall. Dean knocked on the door labeled: Coaches Office. 

“Come in.”, sounded from inside. Dean came in and was almost knocked out from the strong smell of axe. The walls were adorned with trophies and awards. Dean found Coach sitting in chair with his feet on his desk. 

“So, Dean, There is an opening for a linebacker on the team and from what I’ve seen yesterday and today is try-out enough. Would you want to?” Dean scrunched his nose when Coach took a big sloppy bit os orange chicken out of his Panda Express bowl.

“Yeah, when are practices and games, and stuff?” Coach handed him a small folded piece of paper, when the door opened again. A boy with dark skinned poked his head in asking,

“Coach?” Dean put the paper in his pocket. 

“Oh, Raphael, meet our new linebacker.” The boy looked at dean and furrowed his eyebrows. Dean figured he must be friends with Zach, meaning that he knew that Dean was the one that got into a fight with Zach. Dean have Raphael a confident, and slightly sarcastic smile as he left. 

This was going to be fun, Dean laughed to himself. He made his way back to his dorm. As he walked in, the first thing he noticed was Castiel’s ass. He was crouching, reaching down into his bottom drawer. He must have been feeding norman. But damn, did his ass look good. Castiel’s Pants were tight around it and Dean couldn’t help but stare. 

Dean shook his head. He needed to stop. He set his book bag on his bed. Cas turned around and smiled at Dean.

“So, did you make the team?” Castiel’s voice was laced with sarcasm. Dean rolled his eyes.

“So, did you eat all the peaches?” Dean chuckled. Castiel’s cheeks pinked slightly. He looked to the ground and Dean almost felt guilty. Almost.

“You can’t judge me.”, Cas peeped. 

“You can’t judge me.”, Dean mocked mercilessly. And for the next five minutes they just stared at each other. Silence. And, oh lord did Dean need to stop it. 

“But, I did make the team. I’m their new linebacker.” Castiel got up and sat on his bed, facing Dean.

“I have no idea what that means. Sports aren’t really my thing.” Dean chuckled.

“I’m basically the one that tackles everyone.” Dean didn’t feel like getting into detail. He noticed the worried look on Castiel’s face. 

 

“Don’t worry. I’ll try my best not to get hurt.” Dean shot Cas a reassuring smile, and Castiel did his best to reciprocate. Dean finished off the rest of his classes until all that was left was French. This would be his first time in the class because he missed it yesterday. The board read: Find a partner. Dean Immediately looked to Castiel. 

Cas nodded from where he sat and patted the chair next to him. Once most people were seated, The teacher, Miss Corrine, Walked into the room, she was an elderly woman with a gray bun and wrinkles at the crease of her eyes, indicating she had laughed a lot throughout her life. 

“Bonjour, Classe!” Her voice was smooth and comforting.

“Aujourd'hui , nous allons faire des affiches pour mettre en place autour de la salle de classe. Vous et un partenaire allez travailler ensemble pour créer un sur un supject français de votre choix.” 

Dean knew only some french and so the only thing he caught from what she said was ‘posters’, ‘partners’, and ‘french’. He looked to Cas, hoping he knew what she said. He nodded at Dean, and put his finger to his mouth. 

“Commencer.”, Miss Corrine announced. Cas then began to explain what she said with enthusiasm. Dean noticed a glint in Castiel’s blue eyes. Dean figured that French must be something Cas was passionate about. That fact made Dean happy for some unknown reason. 

 

“-and so basically we need to start researching our subject. I think we should do traditional french food.” Castiel spoke quickly as he pulled out his french textbook. Dean smiled.

“I’m down.” And so they both took notes on ‘The history of France's traditional dishes and desserts’. Dean often found himself getting lost staring at Castiel. He read and jotted down notes eagerly. It was fascinating. 

The class was over sooner than Dean expected it to. Dinner was pleasant, except for when Cole cursed out of of the student teachers and was sent to the principal's office. It was hilarious, to say the least. 

Dean also noticed how devoid of conversation the rest of dinner was after he left. After dinner, Dean excused himself to go to the bathroom, to take his usual seven o’clock shit. When, just as yesterday he was stopped by none other than Zachariah. 

“Hey Dean. Welcome to the team.” The rest of the football team was with Zach, the boy Dean met in Coach’s office, Raphael, with them. Dean rolled his eyes, expecting a fight. Then something changed from Zach’s usual sarcastic expression. It was… sincere. 

“But, seriously Dean, I want us to be friends. You’re on the team now.” Dean wondered if that was the only reason Zach wanted to be his friend. But, peace sounded nice. It sounded like Dean was that much farther from being expelled. Zach extended his meaty hand.

“Sure.”, Dean exclaimed was he took Zach’s hand. Zach gave him a triumphant smile. 

“You hear that, boys?”, Zach beamed at his other friends. 

“We got our linebacker!” There were some whoops from the other boys and Dean nodded to them. He pushed past them with a smile. The rest of the night went by okay. Castiel let loose another one of his contagious giggles when Cole came back from the principal's office. That night sleep came quickly to him And Cas didn’t have any nightmares.


	4. Chapitre Quatre

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, school has just started for me and that's why I haven't updated in roughly a month. oops. Sorry. But here's a short chapter and I'll have the next one up shortly. Enjoy!

The next morning, Dean woke up first, again, by his alarm. He made sure not to look at Castiel as he got up. He made it his mission today not to stare at castiel and not to think of him all the time. Dean pulled his shirt over his head as Cas got up. Dean watched as his friend stumbled to his dresser and open a drawer lazily. Dean shook off his thoughts on how hot Castiel looked with his morning hair and sleepy eyes. 

Dean then began his daily struggle with his tie to get his mind off of Castiel. Cas noticed how much dean was struggling and chuckled. 

“Here. Let me help you.”, Castiel said in a rough, morning voice that Dean liked to hear more than he would admit. Cas walked over to Dean and took his tire into his hands, getting to work on it. Dean notices just how close Cas was to him and he felt his heart rate quicken. 

Cas looked up, and caught Dean’s eye. And just like that, Dean was lost in his eyes. For what seemed like forever, they stared at each other. And before Dean could even begin to think, Castiel’s lips were on his own. Dean was stunned. He didn’t move and neither did Cas. Dean was only starting to melt into the kiss, when he realized what was happening. 

Dean pushed Castiel off him with force. Dean felt disgusted, not only by the kiss, but by how, in the back of his mind, it actually felt kinda right. The look of rejection on Castiel’s face was almost enough to stomp out the anger Dean felt. Almost.

“What the fuck was that?!”, Dean yelled, eyes wide and eyebrows knitted together. Castiel wrapped his arms around himself, obviously trying to comfort himself.

“I- I just- I thought that-”, Castiel stuttered, his voice sounding broken. Dean shook his head, bewildered.

“No! God, Cas, no! I’m not gay! I’m not a fucking fag like you!”, Dean yelled harshly. Cas flinched at his words. Castiel started to mumble something, but dean wasn’t paying attention. 

“I’m not gay.”, Dean whispered to himself as he ran his fingers through his hair, pulling it a bit. He shook his head and quickly grabbed his book bag and left. Dean made his way to the cafeteria. He didn’t know where he’d sit now. It would just be awkward if he sat with Cas like he usually does. 

“Hey, Winchester!” Dean’s head snapped to where he heard his name. It was Zach calling from his table. He gestured for Dean to sit with him. Thank god, Dean thought. He plopped down on the end of the table next to Raphael. He didn’t pay attention to the boys’ conversation, and he didn’t try to. Castiel kissed Dean. Disgusting. Dean kinda liked it. Even more disgusting. Dean had so many thoughts running through his head. So many feelings. Dean hoped to god that nobody could see it on his face. Unfortunately, god was not on Dean’s side. 

“So, Dean, what’s got you lookin’ like you just seen a ghost, hm?” Dean snapped out of his thoughts and saw that all of the football team’s eyes were on him. He didn’t want to tell than what happened. They would for sure not be so friendly. But, Dean wanted to be their friend, So he told them the half truth.

“My roommate is just buggin’ me.”, Dean said, trying not to let any emotion seep into the words. The table rumbled with good-hearted laughter. It kinda brought Dean’s spirits up. 

“That little faggot’s giving you trouble? Give us the word, and we’d be happy to beat the shit out of him.”, Zach chuckled out. Dead shook his head, smiling. 

“Oh please. If he needed beating up, I wouldn’t need any help.” Dean laughed with the rest of the boys. Then, One of the boys, whom Dean didn’t know the name of spoke up. 

“Ah, remember last year when he made a move on Balthazar? That was hilarious!” These word were followed with the boy’s pompous laughter. Everyone but one Sandy-haired boy laughed. Dean assumed that this was Balthazar. 

“No, that was gross. The little peice of shit was drunk out of his mind." Dean didn’t like the profanity he used to depict Castiel, but he laughed anyway. Even so, Dean felt somewhat bad for Cas. No, Dean thought, I can’t feel bad for him, He kissed me. The rest of the day he spent mainly with the football team, his new, and probably, now, only friends. 

Dean did noticed the hurt stares from Cas, and the downright murderous glares from Cole, Benny, and Garth. Dean was grateful for how successfully he had avoided Castiel and his friends the whole day. All up until french, at least. 

Dean walked into the classroom, determined to keep up his wall, and not interact with Castiel unless he needed to. He found his seat, Castiel not at his yet. Dean put his textbook on his desk when Castiel walked in.

He had a contented grin on his face and was listening to Garth talk next to him. They parted ways and the second Castiel saw Dean his entire demeanor sunk. His grin melted away, and his usually happy eyes began to take on a sadder blue. Dean’s stomach churned with shame. But, why should he be shameful. Castiel should. 

He’s the one who kissed Dean. It wasn’t Dean’s fault. Castiel sat down in his seat, at the farthest he could be from Dean. The two boys stayed silent. The class mostly consisted of Castiel beginning on the poster, Sprawling out the title and carefully drawing the visuals. Castiel was quite the artist and Dean caught himself before he praised Cas for it. 

They didn’t speak to each other the whole class. The only other time they spoke was after classes, in the dorm. Dean was pulling a worn ACDC t-shirt over his head when Castiel spoke to him for the first time since they woke up. 

“Listen, Dean, I know I shouldn’t have done what I did, but you didn’t have to be such a jerk, okay?” Dean kinda wanted to just say sorry and put it behind them, but what Castiel said infuriated Dean more. Castiel expected Dean to apologize, when he’d done nothing wrong. Sure he said some hurtful things, but that’s what Castiel gets. He fucking kissed Dean. 

“You know what, Cas? I’m not going to fucking say sorry. And I swear to god, if you try anything like that again, I will beat the living crap out of you.” Dean expected Castiel to flinch or back down or something other than what he actually did. He got up from his bed and stood closer to Dean, anger churning in his bright, still mesmerising eyes. 

“I’d like to see you try, Dean.” Castiel narrowed his eyes at Dean, waiting for him to respond. Dean huffed. 

“That was just so wrong, Cas!” Dean ran his hands through his hair. Castiel tilted his head, the anger in his eyes fizzing out a bit. He stepped closer to Dean and grabbed his hand. Dean couldn’t bring himself to push Castiel away. 

“Does this feel wrong?” Dean didn’t answer and Castiel stepped even closer, their faces only centimeters apart. Dean found himself lost in Castiel’s eyes again. 

“Is this wrong, Dean?” Dean closed the gap this time, his body moving even though his mind was telling him to stop. Because even though it was wrong, it felt right to Dean. Their lips moved in sync. Castiel’s hands found their way to Dean’s hair and Dean forcefully grabbed Castiel’s hips, pushing him onto his bed. 

Dean was still angry, and he didn’t know why he was doing this. He wasn’t gay. What was he doing? Dean stopped and hurriedly climbed off of the bed. Castiel looked exasperated when he found himself alone on the bed, as if he were fed up with dean's uncertainty. Which Castiel was. 

“Yes. This is wrong.” Castiel didn’t move. He didn’t blink. He focused on a small, almost unnoticeable scuff mark on the leg of Dean’s dresser. Dean couldn’t be here anymore. He wouldn’t be humiliated any longer. He grabbed his bag of football gear Zach gave him and began towards the door.

Practice was still an hour away, but Dean had to get away. He figured that he would just stay at Raph’s dorm with the rest of the guys until it was time. He looked back to Castiel before he left, and Castiel looked up to catch Dean’s gaze. Blue eyes, all sad and almost… blank. 

“It will always be wrong, Cas.” With that, Dean left, and a small piece of Castiel went with him.


	5. Chapitre Cinq

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a really REALLY short chapter. It's mostly a filler chapter but it is important nonetheless. Also, I know that the football season in this isn't exactly accurate, so please use your imagination. Enjoy!

November and October flew by, and Dean and Cas would only ever talk to each other in class when they needed to. Dean wanted to apologise to Castiel so that they could be friends again, but every time Dean saw Castiel’s face, Dean stopped. He was always remet the anger he felt. And so, as Dean was packing up a few choice belongings to bring with him on his winter break, he thought again at what he would say to Castiel. 

How he would apologise. And then Castiel caught his attention as he walked through the door to their dorm. He must need to pack as well. Dean spent a good ten seconds simply staring at his former friend. The way that his hair was swept askew. The weary, after-school look he wore so well. His utterly breathtaking eyes. Dean shook himself back into reality. It felt as though Castiel never quite got over what Dean had said that night.

Before Dean could over think this for the thousandth time, Dean picked up his bag and got up to get out of the room. He hurried out, not even saying goodbye to Castiel. He strode down the corridor and down the stairs, thinking of how in just an hours drive he’ll get to see Sammy and Charlie and Mom and Bobby and… Dean was excited. It had been awhile since he had felt this. He stopped off at Raphs dorm to say bye to the guys. Dean and the rest of the football team had actually become friends. Dean would have never thunk he be friends with such douchebags, but things happen. He walked in to find that more half the guys were gone. 

“Where is everyone?” The only people in the dorm were Zach, Raph, and Balthazar. 

“Left already. We’re leaving soon too. Hope you're not stayin’.” Zach spoke in a spent voice. Zach has been stressed ever since that calculus test. 

“I’m leaving now. I just came by to say bye.”, Dean clarified. He stood there for a couple seconds. Nobody even spoke. Dean huffed a bit. This is why he would never be able to be good friends with these people. 

“Okay… Bye, then.” Dean left without a second look. His ride home was that of an excited one. Dean sang with his music as loud as he could. He was all revved up and anxious to see his family. After what seemed like too long, Dean pulled up to his childhood house. The pale blue paint was fading and there was a large crack in the cement driveway. It was perfect. Dean stepped out, popping the trunk as he did so. The cold winter air stung his nose, but it didn’t bother Dean. Not one bit. He knocked on the door, although he had a key. His mother opened the door, her blond hair falling into her face and her cooking apron was smeared with something that Dean assumed would be delicious. 

“My baby!” Her smooth voice boomed as her trapped Dean in a hug. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“I missed you, Mom.”, Dean said as he made his way into his living room. He pulled his suitcase behind him and sighed at the warm smell coming from the kitchen. Pie. Dean started to climb the stairs and Mary yelled out for the whole house to hear.

“ Dinner’s almost ready!” Dean Put his worn, old suitcase in his worn, old room. With the posters facing him and the Christmas lights were still up. Dean supposes that his dad still hasn’t changed his bulb. He then hurried his way downstairs. Before he could even sit down, he was being bear hugged by his little brother. Sam had gotten at least half a foot taller since Dean last seen him. 

“Hey, Sammy.” Dean laughed as his brother backed away. 

“I’m glad your back, Dean.” And with that they sat at the table and Mary set out plates and a huge platter of pasta. Just as she sat down the front door opened with loud creak. John appeared in the doorway. 

“Dean! Hey, son. How’s school?” John sat down. Dean gave his father a fake smile and began to talk about school and the football team and how after break they would have their first game. Dean could almost feel the tension rolling off of his mom and Sammy.

The dark amusement at how John tried to act like he cared about Dean. Dean hoped to god that John held his promise. His history with his father was something Dean didn’t like to talk or even think about. The bruises. The yelling. Dean was always thankful it never happened to Sammy. Dean never let John hurt his mother or Sammy. Never.


	6. Chaitre Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another small chapter, but you meet charlie in this one! And Dean faces his sexuality! Enjoy!

Dean was woken up, this time not by his alarm clock, as usual, but by a muffled thud by his window. He rolled over and quickly rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. The first thing he saw was a mob of red hair, then a pair of bright eyes, completely unfazed at their falling. Dean sighed a breath of relief. It was just Charlie. And before he could take another breath, she was squeezing him. 

“Hey, Dean.” She let go. 

“Jesus, Charlie. Are you trying to kill me?” She laughed and nodded her head. Dean smiled. Charlie was annoying but she was also Dean’s best friend. She was moral support with her dad, Sammy’s babysitter sometimes, and basically one of the most important people in Dean’s life. Charlie then began to tell dean everything that had happened while he was gone.

Every. Last. Detail. He still sat and listened. After at least twenty minutes of talking, Dean started to zone out, as he always did when Charlie got into one of her hour-long rants. Unsurprisingly to Dean, his mind when straight to Castiel.

Dean wondered what Castiel was doing right now. Probably sleeping, knowing him. Or maybe not. What if he’d forgot his meds again and was having those terrible nightmares again? Was Castiel thinking about Dean too? Was he still mad at him? Was he- 

“Dean.” He shook his head and focused back on Charlie. He cocked his head to the side and made a questioning grunt. 

“It’s your turn. How’s boarding school? Are you getting good grades? Are there any jerks?” Dean told her the basic, ‘ School was good, tests were stressful ‘, the basics. Charlie gave him that look like she was reading his mind, which she most definitely was.

“Dean.” He knew that she wanted to know all the things that bugged him and everything, but he didn’t know if he wanted to tell her. He knew he could trust her. And he knew she wouldn’t judge him. But still, that anger that he always felt when he tried to say sorry to Castiel was creeping into his stomach. 

“Okay. Let’s start with whatever you were thinking about while I was talking.” Dean decided he couldn’t keep this all bottled up. He decided to tell her. 

“It’s my roomate. He- uh. He was my friend. But then he kissed me.” Charlie’s eyebrows quirked up, but she otherwise was unfazed. Like she already knew it had happened. I continued. 

“ And I said some really shitty stuff to him, Charlie. Really, really shitty stuff. And then we weren’t friends. And I feel really bad and I want to say sorry, but everytime I go to apologise, I feel all angry and then I don’t because I’m afraid I’ll say something even worse and hurt him even more.” Charlie Gave Dean a sad little smile. She looked at him as if he were a toddler and he had just learned that santa wasn’t real. 

“Oh Dean. That isn’t anger. That’s fear.” Dean’s eyebrows knitted together and he shook his head. 

“No way. He isn’t scary at all. Hell, he keeps a fucking baby chicken in his bottom drawer. With his messy hair and his eyes and- No, he’s not scary at all.” Charlie laughed. Her eyes shone with amusement. 

“Not that kind of fear. Good god, Dean.” She shook her head and laughed some more. Dean got even more confused. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe she would be judgemental.

“I thought I’d never see the day.” She giggled some more before she spoke again. 

“Dean. You are in love.” The word hit Dean like a semi truck. Even before he started to argue against it, he knew it was true. He hadn’t been angry. He’d been scared. Scared of his feelings. 

“No.” Dean pulled his blankets closer to him. 

“It’s okay to like boys, Dean. Just like it’s okay for me to like girls.” I swallowed.

“I’m not like you.” She winced a little and I realised the hint of anger in my voice. Here I go again, ruining. 

“I mean, I like girls still.” She nodded and rubbed my back soothingly. 

“So you’re bisexual. That’s okay.” I looked her in the eye and felt hot tear stream down my cheeks. I hate it when I get emotional. 

“Listen, Dean. A bunch of people from my school has come out. Like, do you remember Eric and Charles? They’re together now. And Clarke and that transfer student, Lexa, are together too.” Dean shook his head again and let out a choked sob. 

“ Charlie.” He ran his hands through his hair. 

“ I can’t-” She grabbed his shoulder.

“Hey, Dean. How about this. I’ll take you to this party tonight. They’ll be there.” Dean nodded and wiped up his tears. He got up and went down the stairs, Charlie in tow. Dean was disappointed to find that nobody was home.

His mom was at work and so was his dad. Mary was a nurse, which Dean loved. The thought of his mom saving people's lives made him smile. There was a note on the fridge saying that Sam was at his friend Jesse’s house. Dean chuckled at the ripped piece of paper. Ever since Sam met Jesse he had had a huge crush on the girl. He and Charlie made toast and played mario kart all day long. This was probably what heaven was.


	7. Chapitre Sept

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, short chapter. Every chapter is getting short. *sighs* But, I swear this next one will be longer, because a lot of shit is going to go down. As for this chapter: WARNING! This chapter is in Castiel's point of view and you'll find out about his childhood and stuff and it is incredibly depressing. Enjoy!

The entire way home, Castiel couldn’t stop thinking about Dean. Gabriel, Castiels older brother, Tried to make conversation with him, but failed. Repeatedly. Castiel just stared out of his window and wondered what Dean was doing right now.

If he was happy to see his family. To see some girlfriend he probably has back home. After a good fifteen minutes of trying, Gabe stopped and turned up the radio. He would talk to Castiel about what was on his mind later. In the Novak family, they always talk about it later. Castiel’s family was broken. It all started when Castiel’s dad disappeared, leaving his mom with six children to care for.

Castiel never knew his father. He was only two years old when he left. Castiel was the second youngest child. The first were the twins, Michael and lucifer. They were already eighteen when the accident happened, so they got out as fast as they could. Castiel had no idea where they were now or how they were doing, but he couldn’t care less. 

Thinking of them made him think of the accident. The event that continued to haunt his dreams. Castiel's stomach pinched when he remembered the smell of the smoke, the scream of the fire truck. It was the first of his never-ending cycle of loss.

His mother died that night. His mother whom he loved so much. The firefighters couldn’t get her out. After the twins left, Gabriel took over. He dropped out of highschool and got a job. He took care of Hannah, Castiel, and Anna. Castiel owed his brother so much. The whole family did.

Then, when Castiel started his freshman year at boarding school, He got called to the office. Hannah had died of an asthma attack. He didn’t come back to school for another month. All Castiel had left was Gabriel, and his little sister, Anna, who was just a year younger than him. His family was small and broken, but his, afterall. 

Before Castiel knew it, He was home. He pulled up to the small condo that gabriel was so proud to afford. Castiel was proud too. Gabriel carried his duffle bag and threw the keys at castiel for him to open the door. Castiel did and made an inaudible sigh as the warmth and homey smell washed over him. 

Gabriel set his bag on the dining table and used his foot to shut the door behind him. Castiel speed-walked into the den, where Anna probably would be. Castiel was happy to see his sister spread out on the couch, squinting fiercely at the TV. 

Castiel stood there for a moment, watching her thumbs move in sync on the wii controller. Dean-related thoughts began to creep into his mind when the was a lou, startling whoop. Castiel focused on the ruckus, to find that Anna had beat the mario kart race. 

“Gabe! I did it! You owe me ten bucks, sucker!” Castiel smiled. Her challenging, annoying voice was music to his ears. Anna craned her neck so that she could see behind the couch. Her face grew from smug to utterly ecstatic in under two seconds. 

“Cas!” She scrambled off the backside of the couch, falling a bit, and then hugged castiel in all her petite might. 

“Hello to you too, Anna.” Cas smiled at her as she pulled away. When Castiel looked into his little sister's eyes, he saw his own. Blue and vibrant and specifically his mother's. She climbed back onto the couch, and Castiel followed her, pressing a mis-matching throw pillow against his chest. Anna handed him a controller. They played one game of mario kart, which Cas won. Castiel was always good at this game. 

“Hah! I’m still the best!” Cas boasted. Anna shot him a dirty look and threw an empty coke can at him. 

“Not for long, bitch. I’ll get you in the next round.” Castiel giggled and Gabriel walked into the room. 

“Hey, so, work just called and they asked if I could take a night shift. I won’t be back until really late so don’t wait up for me.” They both nodded. Gabe grabbed his keys off of the coffee table, and they made a beautiful tinkling noise that Castiel could appreciate. Cas and Anna played another round, but Castiel was a bit out of it. He didn’t want Gabe to take the night shift. But, Cas knew that they needed the money. 

The fact that Gabe had to do this left a bitter taste in Castiel’s mouth. Castiel shook the thoughts out of his head. No need to worry about things you can’t change. And, of course, Castiel’s mind needed another thing to think about. And, of course, that thing was Dean. Castiel thought about counting every freckle on his body. Castiel thought about how it felt to have Dean’s lips on his own. And how it may never happen again. 

Dean was in denial. And the fact that after months Dean still hasn’t said that he was sorry for the words he said. Of course, Castiel probably shouldn’t have kissed him so suddenly. Dean would never like Castiel back. Castiel was snapped out of his thoughts with the loud sing-song of the end of the race. Anna had won this one. 

“See, Cas. I’m the best!” Castiel’s eyes didn’t leave the screen and he stayed still, his sour thoughts continuing to lurk in the corners of his mind. Anna’s winners smile slipped away. She grabbed her soda can and took a swig. 

“Cas.” She looked at him expectantly. 

“Are people at school bothering you?” Anna knew this look all too well. She’d seen it before, when Castiel’s first boyfriend broke up with him, and when Hannah died. She wasn’t expecting him to actually answer.

“It’s roommate, Dean. I liked him. And so then I kissed him and I thought that he felt the same way but I guess not. Because he’s not gay. Because he’s ‘not a faggot like me.’ And even after he said all these hurtful things and not ever apologising for them, I still like him. Fuck, Anna, I think I’m in love with him.” Anna looked at him, shocked. There was a silence, then, and Castiel didn’t know what to do. So, he rambled on of course.

“And I feel like maybe he feels bad too, but everytime I think he’s going to apologise, he leaves as fast as he can, and he plays on the football team, so now he’s friends with Zach and all those jerks, and sometimes I feel like he’ll never like me back or ever even talk to me again, but then I catch him just staring at me, and-” Anna scooted closer to him and held his hand. 

“Castiel.” She only used his full name when she was serious or sad. She looked at him with some sort of pitiful emotion. 

“ You need to talk to him. You need to tell him. And even if he really doesn’t like you back, which probably isn’t true because your a catch and- Anyway, It’ll feel better to just tell him and then be done with it. Or he’ll like you back and maybe the entire situation will go a different way.” An incredibly cringey, and oddly suggestive wink followed her last words, obviously trying to cheer her big brother up. And it worked. All through his childhood, Anna has managed to make Castiel feel better, no matter how shitty the situation. If Cas were being honest, she was the reason he recovered from his mother and Hannah dying. He didn’t know where he would be without her. 

“Maybe.” Now a tear trickled down Castiel’s cheek, and he realised he was crying. Why was he so emotional right now? In the long run, this whole crush would be insignificant. Anna wiped up the tear with her thumb. 

“You need to have some fun.” Castiel nodded with a sense of pity. Anna let out a laugh. 

“ Day after tomorrow there’s this party that a couple douches from my school are throwing. Let’s go to that so we can get drunk.” Castiel nodded again, but gave his sister a funny look. 

“ Okay, let’s go to that so I can get drunk and you can make sure I don’t do anything stupid.” Castiel laughed. Loud and contagious.


	8. Chapitre Huit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might not update again for awhile, but I'll try to write as much as I can. Enjoy!

Dean’s pov

Charlie got Dean up again in the morning. Believe it or not, it was in an even more annoying way than normal. Dean woke with a startled grunt as a ziplock bag of eggo waffles hit his face. 

“Get up. Get dressed. We’re leaving in ten minutes.” Charlie’s voice could be heard throughout the house, and Dean hoped that it wasn’t too early and his family was still asleep. An angry John Winchester was not something to be happy about, to say the least. 

“Why?” Dean Dean winced as he spoke, smelling his own morning breath. He pulled his phone off of it’s charger to look at the time. 8:37. Too early for this shit. 

“It’s a surprise.” Dean groaned and rolled out of bed, opening and eating the eggos. Charlie took his place in the warm blankets. 

“Do I need to dress up?” Charlie huffed at Dean’s sickening sarcasm. 

“No, Asshole.” Dean chuckled and grabbed some clothes out of his drawer and headed to the bathroom. When he came back, Dean was adorned in some baggy grey sweatpants and a Led Zeppelin t-shirt. Charlie sighed and shook her head. Dean grinned. 

“Alright. C’mon.” Charlie got up and threw Dean his shoes. They went downstairs and Charlie beat dean to his keys that were resting on the kitchen counter. Charlie was driving, and Dean would let her. Charlie was one of the few people Dean would allow to drive his car.

His oh so beloved car. On the way to wherever Charlie was taking Dean, they sung loudly, sometimes not even knowing the lyrics. And so, after their fourth rock-and-roll duet, Charlie pulled up to the town courthouse and Dean got a bad feeling. 

“What are we doing here?” Dean followed Charlie out of the car. 

“I just need to show you something.” Dean swallowed. Charlie walked in with a pip in her step, confident, as always. They soon found themselves at the front desk where a lady with thick-rimmed glasses sat, with some earbuds in. She took them out, then looked at the two teens, probably wondering what they were doing in a courthouse. 

“May I help you?” Her voice had a kind, helpful tone. Charlie thought, maybe this wouldn’t be a complete train wreck. 

“I was wondering if you could read be the Kansas house bill 2323 of 2015.” The woman looked at Charlie incredulously and Dean tensed at her side. BUt, even through the full ten seconds of awkward silence, Charlie maintained a blindingly confident demeanor. Charlie nodded to the lady as if saying, Hurry it up. She clacked about on her computer. Her yes widened and Charlie and Dean knew she had found it. 

“You would like me to read the whole thing? It is twenty-one pages long.” Charlie shook her head and appreciated the unwavering professional tone that the woman held. 

“How about you just read me the first bit and then print me off the rest?” Dean inwardly screamed. They were going to get in trouble or something. Charlie gave the lady a smile that was so bright it reflected off of her glasses with and opaque vibrancy. The lady began to recite. 

“ An act concerning the Kansas act against discrimination; relating to sexual orientation and gender identity. The next paragraph is mostly numbers, so I’ll stop here.” Charlie rolled her eyes at the numbers remark. Dean shook his head. This was what Charlie wanted to show him? The gay rights bill? Dean almost laughed out loud. It was a ridiculous embark, yet knowing that this law existed comforted Dean. 

The lady behind the desk got up and into an office to grab the bill she printed off. Charlie looked back at Dean with a hopeful grin and Dean couldn’t help but smile back. What did Dean do to deserve such a good best friend? Charlie took the stapled together pieces of paper and handed them to Dean. WIth that, Charlie gave the lady a farewell smile, and they left. They got in the car and Charlie turned the engine over, but didn’t pull out. Dean spoke up first. 

“ Thank you.” Charlie smiled at him and looked as though she were going to tear up. 

“ Your will get through this and you will be happy Dean.” Dean felt as though he were going to tear up too. He sucked in a breath and changed the subject as fast as he could. 

“ So, what now?” After Dean asking that, Charlie’s emotions brightened and her mouth spread into an excited grin.

“Another surprise.” On the way to the next surprise, Dean read through the entire bill. It made him a bit car sick, but it also comforted him. Every section he ready was liberating, as if he were starting accept himself. Dean wondered if he ever would. After a bit, Charlie parked in the familiar parking lot of Coastals Country Supply. Dean felt excitement rise in his stomach. He turned to Charlie, a huge stupid grin plastered on his face. 

“ Bb gun war?” Charlie nodded excitedly and turned off the car. The walked through the automatic doors and sucked in the farm-like smell of the huge warehouse. Coastal Country Supply sells all sorts of cool bb guns and Dean has a friend there that lets him and his friends have bb gun wars in the store.

It’s the most fun Dean can have without taking his clothes off. And so, at the gun counter in the back of the building, Samandriel handed Dean A few bb guns, fully loaded. 

“Good luck, Dean.” Samandriel tipped his baseball hat to Dean, who was already turned, giving one to Charlie. 

“Don’t need it. I’ll give you ten seconds, Charlie.” Charlie nodded with a positively wolfish grin on her face. Within the second, she was gone. Dean made his way behind a stuffed bear on a couple of hay bales. He set up his sniper rifle, looking into the scope, searching for Charlie. 

One minute in, and he felt a prick at his neck. How had she gotten him? Dean was hidden and probably wound have seen her first. Dean looked up and around, and found a sight of fleeting red hair from the top of one of the fake horses behind Dean. 

“Charlie!” He heard her giggling as he abandoned his sniper and pulled out a handgun. He chased her around the clothing section until they got to the animal feed aisles and Charlie disappeared. Dean kept running, but not for long. He was tripped and fell on his face.

He looked up, making sure to hide his gun under his belly. Charlie stood over him, laughing her ass off. Dean decided he actually wouldn't wait. He pulled out the bb gun and shot her Multiple times. 

“Fuck you, Charlie!” She laugh/shrieked and hid behind a large sack of goat feed. 

“Cheater! You had two guns, I only have one.” Dean kept shooting but started to sprint backwards too. 

“Kiss my ass!” Dean had bought himself some time. He quickly moved a bag of chicken food and slotted himself behind it. He waited for thirty seconds until someone started to move the bag that was concealing him. He aimed the gun upward, where it would hit Charlie in the chest, if it were her about to find him. Except it wasn’t Charlie. It was none other than Castiel Novak. Dean felt a raging blush creep across his cheeks. 

“Hi.” Castiel looked stunned and confused. 

“Hello, Dean.” Dean shuffled around, trying to get out. It’s not that he couldn’t get out, it was just that he was shaking so much, it was a struggle. Cas offered him a and and Dean took it and felt his fingertips tingle when he touched Castiel.

Once Dean got out, he looked to Cas and thought about something to say. This was an awkward situation, and Dean could usually handle them with ease. With Castiel he couldn’t. He was starting to feel that anger- no, he was starting feel that fear. 

“So, um, Cas. Hey. Whatcha doin’ here?” Dean stuttered. Dean never stuttered. 

“Grabbing some chicken feed for Norman. But I think I’m the one who should be asking what you’re doing here.” Castiel spoke cockily, as if sensing Dean’s nervousness. Before Dean could answer, an array of bb bullets hit Dean. 

He spun on his heel and looked to his attacker. Charlie giggled and darted from under the stack of saddles she was stationed at and leaped into a different aisle. 

“Son of a bitch. Charlie!” Dean turned Back to Cas, who had a surprised look on his face. Dean gestured in Charlie’s direction with his thumb. 

“Gotta go, Cas.” Castiel nodded and his face fell just a little bit. Dean noticed it. Now was as good a time as any. 

“Hey, I’m sorry for being such a dick to you.” Dean gave Castiel a meaningful look, getting lost in his blue eyes for the gazillionth time. Castiel nodded. Dean turned back to the aisle Charlie ran to and started to sprint in that general direction.

And Castiel was still on Dean’s mind, even after both he and Charlie ran out of bullets and went home. Dean was in way too deep. Dean was in love and there was nothing he could do. There was one thing, though. Dean decided that he needed to see Castiel before winter break was over.


	9. Chapitre Neuf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd just like to apologize in advance. Enjoy!

And Dean did indeed see Castiel again. Charlie and Dean got home after their bb gun war, and were only able to get in two rounds of mario kart, before Charlie abruptly turned off the TV. Dean let out a huge groan and threw the controller onto the chair by the TV, where the wii console was set up. Charlie got up and made for the bathroom. 

“ We don’t have to go to that stupid party.”, Dean yelled, so that Charlie would hear him. Dean got up and pulled on his socks, knowing that Charlie was going to say that they were going to go and Dean wouldn’t argue. 

“ We’re going.” She came out of the bathroom with a fresh coat of mascara on and her hair was down. She grabbed the keys and held the door for Dean. What a gentlewoman. They sang the whole way to Jonathan’s house, where the party would be at. Dean had known Jonathan because he had been on football team with him. He was honestly annoying and Dean had been on the verge of beating the kid into tomorrow multiple times. Even though Dean thought that highschool parties were stupid and he probably would have been much happier sitting at home playing mario kart with Charlie, Dean was excited to see all of his friends from his old school and from his old football team. 

They pulled up to a big house that had a couple people, obviously drunk, playing a very bad game of volleyball in the front yard, and a couple vigorously making out on the porch swing. Dean and Charlie pretended they weren't there when the walked up and opened the door. Inside of the house was booming with music and the smell of sweat and hormones. The living room had the couches dragged to the walls to make room for a packed room of people dancing shamelessly. Dean scrunched up his nose in disgust. He grabbed Charlie’s wrist and led her to the stairs that went down to the den.

The den had a much chiller vibe with less people and the stinging scent of pot. Down there he found Jonathan who gave him a sloppy bro hug and handed him a can of cheap beer. Dean gave him a fake smile and plopped down on one of the couches and listened to some of the conversation. Charlie sat on a different couch next to some girl and got to work on her. Dean noticed Charles curled up next to Erik with Erik’s arm around him. Charlie wasn’t lying. They were together. Right out there in the open. Dean chugged down his beer and smiled towards them. 

“So when did, uh, this happen?” Dean said it good-naturedly, without a hint of homophobia in his voice. Erik smiled and pulled Charles closer. 

“Awhile back Charles here came up to me and asked if I’d be his boyfriend. I said yes. Here we are.” Dean looked at them with wonder. Their love was so simple. So easy. Dean wish it were like that with him and Castiel. Wait. Why was Dean thinking of himself and Cas as a couple? They were nowhere near that. Yet. Charles spoke up. 

“Well, I mean it’s nothing that serious. I mean-” He spoke defensively, which told Dean Charles had endured his share of shit about who he liked. Dean felt angry at whoever had done that. Charles doesn’t deserve that. We all just want to love who we want. Erik interrupted Charles. 

“Oh please, Charles, I’ve had my dick so far up your ass, cum shot out of your nose.” Charles turned a bright shade of red and hide his face in Erik’s chest. Everyone else in the room also turned red and looked away, but nobody said anything rude or homophobic. Dean was starting to feel better. Jonathan broke the silence and called to the group. 

“Well, shit. We’re out of beer.” He waited for a minute for someone to volunteer to go upstairs and get more. Everyone was either too high or too lazy. Dean sighed and got up. 

“I’ll go get some.” Dean made his way up the stairs, and into the kitchen. The kitchen was modern and sleek, nothing like Dean’s family kitchen and Dean felt incredibly out of place. He got into the fridge and grabbed a case of beer. When he walked out of the kitchen, we scanned the dance floor. He soon found Clarke and Lexa. He had known them from school. He had a couple classes with them. They were constantly trying to one up each other. Dean was not surprised they finally got together. The sexual tension between the two was enough to make Dean want to vomit. They were dancing together.

Dean nodded, thinking, maybe it really is okay for him to like girls and boys. And at that moment, Dean realized it was. He was bisexual and that was simply that. And it was okay. And then, as if on cue, Castiel opened and walked through the front door. He was followed by a gorgeous girl with flowy red hair, but her beauty was nothing compared to Castiel.

His hair was windblown, probably from leaving the window open when he drived, and he was wearing a plain gray t-shirt and some jeans, and his eyes were it’s usual striking blue. He was the most beautiful thing Dean had laid his eyes on. Dean’s heart pounded in his chest and that feeling crept into his tummy. Dean shivered. He held tight to the beer case and hurried down the stairs, hoping Castiel hadn’t noticed him. He set down the case on the coffee table and a couple quiet cheers sounded around the group. Dean went directly to Charlie. He ignored the girl that was sitting next to her, playing twenty questions. 

“Charlie! Cas is here!” Dean didn’t care that he was interrupting or that this stranger was hearing him. No more hiding. 

“ The Cas?!” Charlie said excitedly. Her eyes gleamed with anticipation. 

“ What do I do?” Dean felt winded, out of breath. It was completely unlike him. 

“Go to him. Obviously.” Charlie gave him a smile that was meant to reassure Dean, but Dean still felt the familiar jolts of nervousness in his stomach. Dean almost laughed at how silly he must have looked. He’d never gotten this worked up over any of his other girlfriends. 

“ Yeah, but then what?” Charlie shook her head and her toothy grin told Dean all he needed to hear. He needed to do this on his own. He nodded and patted Charlie’s knee, only to be answered with a surprisingly hard slap to the butt as he walked past her. Dean walked back upstairs but didn’t go through the door. He needed to make his bumping into Cas look like Dean hadn’t planned it. Which he had. And Dean sucked at acting. 

And so Dean decided he wouldn’t act. He would drink. There was no way Dean could be sober for what was about to happen. Dean made haste to Jonathans room, where Dean would find a bottle of jack in the top drawer. Dean ignored the almost naked couple making out on his bed and grabbed the bottle and held it like a baby as he went downstairs. Dean found a nice place in the corner of the living room, scanning the crowd for Castiel.

And drinking. Not just drinking. Chugging. The liquid burned down Dean’s through but he kept swallowing more and more. Twenty minutes later, and Dean still hasn’t seen Cas and the bottle is one third empty. Maybe Cas left. Probably. This was a lame party anyway. Why would someone like Cas want to be here? Cas belongs in better places, like the Lawrence academy library, or the park, or Dean’s arms. Yes. That’s where Dean wanted Castiel. In his arms, and everything would be okay. Dean sighed, defeated. He decided that he would take himself and his glorious bottle of temporary happiness to the backyard. 

Jonathans house was on a hill, and with a bit of climbing, dean was able to get onto the top of the tool shed, where you could see the whole city. It was a great place to wallow self pity, as Dean did a lot. But Once he got up there, Dean found that he wasn’t alone. A mess of dark hair and Dean already knew who it was. It was Cas. Castiel hadn’t noticed Dean yet, so Dean plopped down right next to Cas, getting his attention. It took a while for Castiel to register who Dean was, but once he did, his lip tightened into a grin. Dean was happy that by just looking at him would make Castiel smile. 

“Hello, Dean.” Dean inwardly sighed at the sound of Cas’ voice. Dean had missed it, even though he’d heard it just earlier that day. 

“Hey, Cas.” And with that they sat for a while, a comfortable silence. And Dean was surprised to find himself not reaching for the bottle of jack, but reaching for Castiel’s hand. When Dean took it and didn’t let go of it, Cas did nothing. He held Dean’s hand back. Dean was happy. Castiel was happy. But Dean needed to risk this happiness. Dean needed to talk, and words always seemed it ruin, one way or another. 

“I’m sorry.” Castiel held his gaze on the city lights. 

“You have said that already.” Dean held tighter.

“I mean it. I’m so sorry. I’ve been such a dick to you for doing a thing that I could never do.” And when dean said that, Castiel turned to him. Dean was usually comforted by Cas’ eyes, but when he looked into them, they were churning with anger. 

“Do what, Dean? Kiss a boy?” Castiel’s word stung, but Dean but he deserved it. Dean could feel Castiel’s hand start to pull away, but Dean held on even tighter. He would not lose him. Dean kinda felt like reaching for that bottle again.

 

“No, Cas. No.” Dean swallowed. It was one thing telling Charlie. Dean sucked in a breath and looked Castiel in the eyes, and for once, he didn’t get lost in them. Dean held his ground, and the words spilled out. 

“I couldn’t act on my feelings like you did.” Castiel’s eyebrows furrowed and Dean could see the confusion on his face.

“I love you, Cas.” The words went out as constipated as Dean loved, stutters and uncertainty. Then Castiel's face went blank and Dean’s stomach dropped. 

“No.” Dean’s mouth went dry. 

“You can’t do that. You can’t just treat me like shit and ignore me for months, and come here and say you love me. It doesn’t work like that. You need to earn my trust.” Tears welled in Castiel’s eyes. Dean felt a lump in his throat.

“ You can’t come back and tell me that.” Castiel was still looking at Dean, but it seemed as though he was looking through him. 

“You can’t tell me that.” Castiel's eyes widened. He looked like he’d seen a ghost. 

“Don’t say that.”, Castiel whispered to himself. 

“I have to go.” He shook his head as he got up. A positively terrified look was plastered on Castiel’s face. He left. And Dean let him. Dean fucked up again. He took back his bottle of jack and took a swig. He held to it tightly wishing it were Castiel’s hand. After after another third of the bottle was gone, Dean decided he would not leave it at that. He needed to make it up to Castiel. Dean remembered what he had said. ‘You need to earn my trust’. 

And Dean would do just that. Dean hopped off of the shed and ran into the house, tripping along the way. He was drunk and he might not even remember this tomorrow, but he didn’t care. He would not give up on Cas. His Cas. Dean found Castiel in an office trying to pull the pretty ginger girl he came with off of a boy. Dean was void of fear or nervousness thanks to his trusty bottle of jack. 

“Cas.” Dean ran right into the boy, almost falling on his face. But he didn’t, because Castiel caught him first. Castiel looked at Dean like some sort of turtle that fell on it’s back and couldn’t get up. Which he was. 

“Let me take you on a date.” Dean spoke fearlessly, and hiccuped, drunkenly. 

“Let me earn your trust.” Castiel sighed and stood Dean upright. He grabbed a pen out of a cup on the desk. Cas scribbled something on Dean’s arm, but Dean didn’t pay attention because once again, Dean was lost staring into Castiel’s eyes. Castiel threw the pen behind him when he was done and caught Dean’s gaze.

“Okay.” Dean smiled and a warm feeling spread throughout his chest as he saw the shy smile Castiel gave him. Like, just for right now, everything was okay. Castiel didn’t say another word. He hooked his arm around his friend’s waist and lead her out of the house. Dean stumbled down the stairs. He caught sight of Charlie. 

“Hey, man, we should go. I might puke.”, Dean slurred. He took another swig of his bottle. Charlie gave him a disgusted yet concerned look. Dean giggled and showed her his arm where Castiel had written something. Dean was having trouble reading it, but it was probably something to giggle about. Charlie chuckled and threw an arm around his shoulders.

“Let’s get you home, big guy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Don't kill me. The angst will let up soon, I promise. :)


	10. Chapitre Dix

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't posted sooner, but I've been super busy lately. Anyway, this is just a cute filler chapter, but the next one will be better. Enjoy!

Dean woke up the next morning with a crick in his neck, a pounding headache, and a warm feeling in his gut. And the warming feeling in his gut sidetracked him from his nauseating hangover. Dean set the bottle of jack he had clutched in his arms all night on his bedside table and sat up, the cool morning air coming out of his open window created goose bumps along Dean’s skin. Dean was surprised he remembered so much from the night before. He’d gotten so wasted, and Dean thanked god that he could still remember. He looked at his arm. There were a series of numbers written there, a phone number, and above those numbers was the name Castiel. Castiel. An unexpected smile crept across Dean’s face when that name came to mind. But then Dean frowned. He’d only made things worse with him. But Dean got Cas’ number. He could make things right. Dean could try. But before he did anything, Dean needed some coffee. When he got downstairs, he found that someone had already beaten him to the coffee machine. Sam and Kevin, Sam’s friend whom Dean very much approved of, were sitting at the table, looking about as hungover as Dean felt. They said nothing and Dean poured himself a mug and sat down across from the zombie-like boys. There was a good two minute quietness, where the only sound that could be heard was Dean sipping his black coffee.

 

“You two look more hungover than I do. And I know you, Sam, and so I know you guys weren’t drinking. What’s up?” Kevin and Sam gave each other a half-lidded eye roll. Dean sighed inwardly.

 

“Studying.” The words almost sounded painful, coming out of Sam’s mouth. Dean chuckled, then regretted doing so when Sammy’s sleepy puppy-dog eyes met his . 

 

“Typical. You two are fuckin’ nerds.” Kevin winced at Dean’s profanity, but Sam was used to it. Sam took a drink of his own coffee cup and spoke up.

 

“How was whatever party you went to last night?” Kevin closed his eyes, not because of boredom, but of sleep deprivation. 

 

“Good.” Dean felt the corners of his lips curl as he remembered the hazy, drunken, horrible, wonderful, heart-wrenching, amazing memories of last night. Of Castiel. Of a bottle of jack. Of a pen, whose ink was still etched on Dean’s forearm; decipherable even if the sequence of numbers was a bit smeared. Dean let his fingers linger there far too long, and Sam saw it.

 

“And that’s the number of a beautiful stranger,” Sam smirked. Even Kevin smiled, but still did not open his eyes. 

 

“Yes.” Dean couldn’t not think of Cas when he heard the word beautiful. The curve of his neck. The blue of his eyes. The way his dark hair fell so messily. 

 

“Snap out of it, Dean. I’m going to go take Kevin home.” Dean nodded. Sam pulled Kevin out of his chair and out the door, grabbing his school bags as they went. Dean heard the door close behind his before he pulled out his phone and copied in Cas’ phone number. He hit call and put it to his ear. 

 

Dean began to lose hope by the fifth ring, but then he heard something of a beauty. 

 

“Hello?” Dean smile spread even wider. 

 

“Hey, Cas.” 

 

“Dean.” Castiel’s voice brightened and Dean felt all warm and fuzzy, which was something he didn’t usually like.

 

“You sound hungover.” Dean chuckled. Maybe too bright.

 

“I am. I’ve got coffee, though.” Then Dean heard some muffled screams and the phone dropping. He waited. And waited. And then Castiel’s voice returned.

 

“Sorry about that. Norman escaped yesterday and my sister just found him.”

 

“That sounds like fun.”

 

“Yes. She has the most peculiar fear of chickens.” 

 

“When should I pick you up?” There was a bit of a silence, and Dean could picture the confused look Castiel had. 

 

“For our date, Cas. The one that you promised me.”

 

“Today?”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“That’s awfully soon. And with your hangover, I imagine you wouldn’t want to go out today.”

 

“I’d do it for you.”

 

“You sound desperate.” 

 

“I am.” There was another silence.

 

“I’m busy.” Cas broke the silence, but the words he broke it with made the smile slip from Dean’s face. 

 

“Okay.” His lips fell even more, into a frown. Another silence. 

 

“But I won’t be this saturday.” Hope sparked in Dean’s tummy. 

 

“I can work with that. What time should I pick you up on saturday?” 

 

“Seven.” Dean’s grin came back.

 

“I’ll see you then.”

 

“I’ll see you then, Dean.” Cas hung up. Dean put his phone in his pocket and finished off his coffee. He thought maybe he should start on his winter break homework. Then he laughed at himself. As if. Dean decided on going back up to his room and sleeping the rest of the day. He was woken up by a less sleepy Sam who told Dean to come down for dinner. He groggily got up and stumbled downstairs. But the delicious smell wafting from the kitchen woke him up. Spaghetti night. 

 

“Finally up?” Dean’s mom smiled at him as she came in with some plates in her hands and another two on her arms. She loved to show off her waitressing skills. 

 

“And ready to eat!” Dean said excitedly, grabbing some plates off of her and set them on the table. Sammy sat down next to Dean and his parents sat across from them. Dean immediately stuffed his face, forgetting all table manners he’d acquired over his seventeen years of living. Mary gave him a look and he straightened up. 

 

“So, Dean. Have you started on your homework?” Dean shook his head and took another bite. 

 

“I have!” Dean rolled his eyes as Sammy started to give a very long, detailed description on everything he was doing in all of his classes. It was boring, but at least the spotlight wasn’t on Dean. The more he talked to his parents, the more he thought about how he would come out to them. It was not a very pleasant thought. And when Dean lied down to sleep, it was all he could think about, which was not usual. Dean wished his mind could just go back to thinking about Cas.


End file.
